Ask anyone, I avoid change like the plague. Well, as much as I can. I don't like change, even though I know it's inevitable. I just don't like having something go one way for so long and then having to do something completely different later.
For example, I don't like it when my food is changed. I've eaten certain foods a certain way for so long once it's changed I can't stand it. Mom thinks I make too big of a deal when she adds peppers to spaghetti sauce. I'm so used to it just being plain meat sauce that as soon as she adds the peppers in the taste of the peppers takes the whole thing over and I don't like it. Mere understands what I'm getting at. I just like things a certain way. But as I get closer to graduation I realize, now, that I can't have things my way, a certain way, for the rest of my life. I will have to accept change. I will have to learn how to do things differently. I can see two sides to a problem, it shouldn't be hard for me to see that there will be more than one way to go about a new situation/scenario. Being in school for so long (since I was five) has made me want to branch out and do something completely different once I graduate. I want to do something to break the monotony that I've been sitting in and get a chance to break out of my comfort zone. It's no surprise to anyone who knows us that we really want to go out to California, Los Angeles specifically. We feel like we have something new to bring to the land of Hollywood that could get us to the right places to finally pay Mom and Dad back for all they've done for us. They didn't need to adopt all of us but they did. They didn't need to support us to go to school but they did. They don't need to get us things and help pay off car expenses or testing fees but they do. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve parents like them but I'm glad I have them and I want to do anything I can to help them retire comfortably and getting work out in LA seems to be the easiest way. We're constantly asked why we're not on TV or in movies (usually they're talking about a reality show and I think we're too boring for that) but as time went on the more I think "why aren't we?" Sure, I'm not the best actor in the world but I'm willing to take the time to get better. It is something that I've been interested in but I've always put it on the back-burner 'cause I thought school was more important at the time. I hated having to put aside interview opportunities because of school and now that we're graduating soon I won't have to use that excuse anymore. Of all the things to audition for I want to audition for the role of Zoe Nightshade in the next Percy Jackson movie (assuming they make one.) My sisters may think I want to get the part as an excuse to meet Logan Lerman (I'll admit, that's a tiny part of it, emphasis on tiny) but I want to audition and I want to get the part because I feel like Zoe is who I'd be if I weren't so quiet and shy. She's a confident woman who does not take (excuse my language) shit from anyone and does what she believes is right, no matter the opposing opinions. She is outspoken when she needs to be and gets her point across. (The only thing we don't have in common is that she has a grudge against men, which I do not have.) Acting would be the biggest way for me to accept change because, well, acting is all about being someone else and changing yourself to fit the character. What better way to force myself out of my comfort zone? I have a vision board hanging in my apartment with an Oscar statue on it. I never specified what the Oscar is towards but I would gladly accept one for Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, or Best Screenplay. I'm a firm believer in the Law of Attraction and positive thinking. If all things go my way not only will you see me on the big screen one day but finally conquering my fear of change and the future. Wish me luck!
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If you ever want a good laugh, come see me. I find enjoyment out of a lot of simple things. Archives
November 2016
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