I have been asking myself the same question after I finished my master’s degree a month early: now what? I have always been the type of person who has plans in life, and if those plans don’t work out, I would have a backup plan prepared. This is not to say I cannot be spontaneous or that I’m thinking things will go wrong. It is more of a way to prepare myself and to think ahead. It has worked out numerous times at my library job where I have been able to fix a problem before the problem even arises. Now, I really do not have an answer, and it is a horrible feeling. Sometimes I feel that I wasted my time constantly working and going to school. Do not get me wrong, I am happy with where I am in life, but since the first day I stepped foot into school all I thought about was school, work, and being successful. I just never really took the time to enjoy myself as I was so focused on bringing positivity to my race and successes. This is also due in part that I was actively working against stereotypes against my skin color and my race in general. I have been deemed a goody two shoes all my life and trust me, with the attitude and back talking I did while growing up, I would not fully fit that mold. Just ask my parents. I do admit I very rarely set a foot out of line, but this is due to the fact that I’m always aware of how it would look not just for my family, but for my race in general. I was aware of the stereotypes and microaggression before I really knew what it was, and I did not want to add fuel to the fire. Due to white privilege, this is something a lot of my old classmates, schoolmates, and colleagues have not ever spent days or nights worrying about and most likely will not have to. Now that I hold my master’s degree, the world is open to me, and I was excited to go and see what was out there. I had planned on traveling for the first time, and due to the seriousness of COVID-19 all my plans are put on hold, which is something I accepted due to suffering from asthma. I was not able to hold a graduation party that I was excited for and planning for months, since it would solely have been my day. I am also lucky enough to have been able to complete my degree while working full time, a title I have held for about two years now. Not many are lucky enough to have a full time position while in library school, and in turn, would face tough competition in fighting for one after graduating. Due to COVID-19 a hiring freeze is in place for most cities which includes library positions. While holding a master’s degree is beneficial, I will be working against other recent graduates to continue to advance my career. The whole world is at a standstill and slowly re-opening. All this time inside has made me question what my next move will be, and I do not have an answer, idea, or plan. When I get back to work, all I will be doing is work. Do not get me wrong, I love my job and am grateful to still hold it, but not having as many choices as I used to have for activities after and around work streamlines the opportunities. As an introvert, I like having the choice to be home, but I do not enjoy having a lack of opportunities to when I do go out. Though, I am in no rush to have places open due other’s health and safety. A positive to the freedom I now hold is that I do not have to worry about schedules/deadlines for schoolwork. I can go back to leaving work at work. I get to plan more traveling opportunities: one of the first big projects I worked on at the library was creating sister city displays, so now I would like to go to those cities and visit a library there. Also, I can go back to working on my first love and hobby, writing. With so many people now looking for works by Black authors, this may be the perfect time to try and get an agent or a publishing deal. One can dream! -SJ
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"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you." - Walt Whitman Archives
January 2022
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