Today at work, I was complimented on how patient I was with a customer. They were trying to use a $10 off coupon they received as a reward for collecting a lot of points from shopping in the store. We had to go through so many steps for her to complete her rewards profile (something you need to do before you can start getting your rewards, usually customers do this after initially signing up for the rewards program) that I ended up trying various different steps for her to get her coupon as well as typing things into her phone for her since I can type pretty quickly. You should actually see how wide people's eyes get when I breeze through typing in their info to sign them up for the rewards program.
I would think people's first impression of me is different than how I actually am. I can actually be shy from time to time, and I think I have the "resting bitch face" so people either assume I'm upset or something is wrong, or that I'm intimidating. This isn't the case, or at least, it's not the energy I want to put out into the world. Most cases, I'm just thinking about something very hard. After graduating high school, I've tried to adopt a more positive outlook to life and it's been very beneficial for me. I just have this drive to help people. I like helping people even if its as small as holding a door open. I'm just very perceptive and sometimes I can tell when someone needs to vent. I just want to put others before myself, even though I worry I will be burned in the end. Unfortunately this has happened numerous times, and yet, I still want to help people.
When I was younger, I strongly disliked being called sensitive. Growing up in a family with 5 siblings, with three of them being the same age as me, and looking exactly like me, it was hard for me to find where I fit, not just in my family, but in society. People would just call me "Jackson" or "Quad". Now, don't get me wrong, I love being a multiple, and I wouldn't imaging my life any other way. They're my best friends. I know it must be hard to remember whose name goes to who. Some have told me they were embarrassed that they couldn't tell us apart, but they tried. I always knew the difference with those who tried and those who didn't.
With not really knowing where I fit, I think i found myself just filled with a lot of different emotions. I was easily offended by something or upset by something and people would say, like clockwork: "Why are you so sensitive about everything?" or "Stop being so sensitive."
Unfortunately, I think that had affected me a lot. It's made me somewhat hard and some could see that as me being cold. I'm not that harsh of a person; however, if anyone messes with anyone in my life, I will be quick to knock them down a peg, so I guess there is a bit of a spin to it. Because of those comments, I don't cry that often. I hate to cry, i don't like how i feel after i cry, and sometimes I just feel like I'm weak after I do it. There has yet to be a movie where I cried while watching it. I do admit though, i did get misty eyed during Toy Story 3 and Inside Out. Also, who can keep a straight face when watching those videos on YouTube when those in the Army, Navy, Coast Guard, etc return home.
Now, i see being sensitive as a good thing. It means people can trust me with their problems, and that I will actively listen to them. It doesn't matter what my issues are at the moment, if someone needs to vent I'll give them my full attention. It may take a bit for someone to find out that side of me, but it's always been there, just buried a bit.
"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you." - Walt Whitman