Everyone who knows me knows that I'm not that found of young children. Yes, it is ironic seeing as I'm youth associate at a library, but hear me out. Baby's are adorable but they just lie their until they can gain motor skills to sit up, crawl, walk, and talk. I've never really felt like I've had maternal instincts towards children as it is. Sure, I have said in the past if I were to have or want children I would want to foster or adopt them. Got to keep that family tradition alive! Or at least start a new tradition. I've never really found myself connecting to a child unless they were at the age where they can speak very clearly and we can have a conversation. I'm sure all parents know that moment when their child is trying to tell them something in their child-english that when you go and do what you thought they asked or said, your child gets frustrated because you did something wrong. You just don't know what it is. This has occurred for me numerous times during the programs I've run at the library, and I end up leaving the program so confused as to how I ruined the conversation or their game of imagination. However, the one thing that ruins any yearning for me wanting to have children is that some who are school aged don't haven't fully mastered the skill of properly covering their face when they sneeze, and with this year's cold and flu season as well as the wide range of weather temperatures in my area, I've been hit a cold more times than I can count. Since January, I have been sick every two to three weeks. Yes, you read that correctly. By the time I am scheduled to do my weekend rotation at work, I am either getting sick or getting over being sick. Now this could be due to a variety of factors. As previously mentioned I work with children, the weather here has been through rapid up and down changes, and I go to school full time online. Did i mention that I am also doing the job of 3 people by myself?
Of course, I can't fully blame children for getting me sick, even though I have seen my fair share of them coughing or sneezing into their hands and then going back to playing on the computer. I now keep hand sanitizer on me at all times, and it takes every fiber of my being not to flinch when a child who clearly had a runny nose touches my hands or taps my arm. But, I'm digressing. This past week, I had three papers due all at the same time. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem. In fact, I was really excited about writing one, and the other was a group assignment. I don't about anyone else, but I've greatly despised groups projects since college, and this group was no exception. I know that by going to school online cooperation would be a bit more difficult. Sure, life may get in the way, it happens. Let's just say, working on a group project for two to three weeks where communication is scarce, I end up being the de-facto leader, having two group mates who essentially were yes men, one group mates ends up dealing with a family emergency (understandable), writing 95% of the project, and turning it all in at the last minute is not my ideal way to have a group project work out. We ended up getting 100% on the project, but it was not worth how much stress I endured.I have to admit, I was spoiled in the two groups I was a part of in my first semester. They were excellent and I didn't have a worry in the world. In fact, we finished all of our projects days to a week before the due date. There were numerous times where I wished I could do the group assignment by myself instead of in a group. I stuck it out through the whole thing to get experience on group work. Of course, there are things that they do that have aide in the project that I didn't see. In fact, one of my group-mates says she handwrites her papers and then types them up, which means she did double writing work than I did when it comes to getting my ideas down in a word doc. Again, tons of stuff they do, I don't see. With these three papers, two were a project and one was a traditional paper. I was so focused on my two projects that I put my traditional paper on the back-burner. By the time the due date came, I rushed to finish it within four hours. The thing of it is, with these two projects being worth more to my grade than my other paper, they took precedence. Not to say my traditional paper was easy. In fact, it was a literature review and this was the second time in my school career I ever had to write one. The first time I wrote one was last semester. When it comes to academic papers I am not confident in my abilities, so I really dragged my feet in those four hours. Next week, I'll be on vacation and I can't wait! I don't have any special plans and I'm glad. I just get to rest the whole time and do some errands and cleaning here and there. I've never felt this burned-out before. Today is my day off and when I woke up, I thought it was Saturday. I've been sluggish for most of the day and my concentration is off. Of course, I chose to go after my MLIS. I choose to go to school and work at the same time. t is what I want to do with my life. I just never thought I would be dealing with the pressures of my job, three papers, and fighting a cold every 2 weeks to occur all at the same time. No one would ask for that combination of stress. However, I've been through worse. If I can get through that, then I can get through this, and I will be one step closer towards achieving my MLIS and walking across that stage in sunny west coast weather. -SJ
1 Comment
Mary Jackson
3/20/2019 10:57:12 pm
I am so proud of all that you are doing. I know that life is crazy sometimes but that seems to be the way the world turns. Just keep trying to make the most of your time.
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"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you." - Walt Whitman Archives
January 2022
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