I recently moved into my new apartment for my final year at university. I will be graduating in May 2014 with a BA in English/Creative Writing, a Minor in Music, and a certificate to be a piano teacher. I will have fulfilled most (if not all) of my requirements by the end of my fall semester.
I want to be an author. A best selling author. And that scares me. A lot. Like a hella lot.
What else can I do with a BA in English/Creative Writing?
---Become a journalist
---Become a teacher
Again I ask, what can I do with a BA in English/Creative Writing? I don't want to be a journalist. I know there are many openings for writers in that field but its not something that has ever caught my attention. I like to write creatively. stories that I want to tell.
Everyone tells me to become a teacher because it's a great backup for a writer, there is always a need for a teacher, and you'd be making a salary. For years I wanted to be a teacher, but then I realized my patience level for young kids, in a word, sucked. So I changed my ambition. Then I decided I wanted to be a teacher again after a positive experience with my first piano students. Now, I don't know if I want to continue with being a teacher.
Right now, I don't want to be a teacher because it's more like a career choice people have already made for me. I feel like I'm forced into it. I didn't really have much of a decision. Already, These are a few questions and comments I've received from people since the summer:
--"When you go to graduate school to get your Master's in Education...."
--"You should look at becoming a teacher..."
--"Where do you want to go to grad school to become a teacher?"
--"Are you sure you want to be a writer? Teaching is more stable of a job (to an extent)..."
I feel pressured to follow this career path, and I'm not happy about it. I don't want to be stuck in a profession that I'm not 100% in to. I don't want to do something that doesn't make me happy. I just wish people would listen to me more. Maybe right now, I'd like to get a job and take a year off of school.
I know I need to get a job. The way I move through life is that if there's something I need you to know, I'll tell you, silence is golden. I've always been like this. I'm just a private person.
When it comes to the job topic I don't like talking about it at all. I don't tell people that I get interviews. If I feel disappointed when I don't get offered a position, I feel even worse when I have to relay this news to others. Then of course there is also the fact that if I mention I have an interview I feel like I'm jinxing myself and I won't get the position.
Also, if I don't talk to people about it they assume I'm not trying to find a job. This summer I have applied to over 100+ places both online and in person. However, I didn't talk about it. I would apply to positions in the store during the afternoons. I would apply to positions (both online and physical ones) through an online application roughly four times a day four days a week.
Every time I mention money or school or something I want to do after I graduate I hear these phrases:
--"When you get a job you can move out to [Insert Place Here]..."
--"When you get a job..."
--"Get a job first..."
--"You need a job..."
I feel as if I'm doing something wrong when I'm told those phrases over and over and over again. Job searching for people my age is not easy. It's actually very difficult. To those people who tell me those phrases, I feel as if they expect finding a job to be easy. I feel like they think its my fault I'm not being hired because I'm doing something wrong.
Overall I'm scared. I'm scared:
--to go out in the real world
--to apply to a grad school and get accepted/rejected
--to pick a career over graduate school and not have it work
--to pick graduate school over a career and not have it work
--to pick a path after graduating university and not having any support
I'm scared because I don't know what I want to do with my life in general. Ultimately I want to help people and I can do that in many ways. I can help by becoming a teacher. I can help by writing a story that is relatable to many readers.
And no matter what I end up doing (becoming a teacher or a writer) I want to make the decision, I want to be happy, I want support, and I want to know that I'll eventually make a difference.
"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you." - Walt Whitman