I feel like I've hit a brick wall.
Not physically, though I'm glad I'm finally able to go to the gym without hurting for days afterwards. And when I do it's because I'm pushing myself very hard. (Gotta get in shape for that five miler, maybe even another half marathon). I mean in a figurative sense. As this semester is almost over (really, it kind of is, Spring Break is the second week of march and the semester ends in April. Hard to get used to after years of having 'J-Term') I look around and notice that all of my classmates are passionate about and really invested in the program I'm in and I'm...not. They've taken numerous communications classes and know exactly what they want to do while I'm sitting at the side saying 'I love extreme sports'...and have no clues how to really tie that into what we're learning other than grasping at straws to study something I enjoy throughout class. Sure, I've sort of had this complaint before but it's different, now, to the point that the program isn't what I thought it'd be. Sure, it's new, only four years old, I get that. But I thought there'd be an equal chance to study digital communication as well as the lifespan...and I was wrong. It's mostly classes about communication theory, lifespan theory, and a sprinkling of digital communication here and there and that's what I'm interested in. Social Media, Digital Marketing, Digital Publicity, things like that, and there aren't any classes that are particularly catered to it. Only a few. And in the terms of what to do to finish my degree; a thesis or a project, I can see the plus side of doing either one. I'd be great at doing either one. But, honestly, I'd rather do a comprehensive exam to prove I know what I'm talking about. And it'd now just hit me that...I don't know how to get into the extreme sports industry with my degree or with my passion alone. Yes, I do some articles for S4, and have been followed like crazy by skateboard and surfing related companies on twitter, but that still doesn't do anything other than show that I'm completely unprepared. And although I was very aware it was a tough industry to break in, in general, it didn't really click with me until I thought about what I'm studying. Every class when I explain what I'm interested in studying (via extreme sports; mostly surfing and skateboarding) I get blank stares, polite smiles, some conversation. But I have no one I can really talk to about it, especially since it doesn't really have to do with communication at all, while the other topics being brought up certainly are. There's a professor in my program that has the topic of sports, mass media, and journalism as his interests and I'll try talking to him to see if he can give any advice. But at the moment I'm really regretting not getting a MA in Creative Writing because at least when I finished that it'd get me closer to having a book picked up by a publication house.
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Another week of school almost over and I've really fallen into my routine to keep myself positive as well as to have my work done early so I have more time to myself. However, more time to myself doesn't really equate to the work on the novels I've thought of, but that's a whole other thing entirely.
Now that I've gotten further in my classes I'm really excited with the prospects of what I'm studying. For two of my classes I'm researching different aspects of skater culture. For one, I'm researching it in general in terms of communication theories while in the other I'm researching the correlation to feeling like an outcast/like you don't belong in some aspect of your life and skater culture. It's really cool to research, especially in the means that a lot more people have written about it for their thesis and dissertations than I originally thought. Now I have more sources to go off of in the means of my own research. So that's the good part. The bad part is that I'm contemplating leaving my writer/contributor job with S4 magazine. I love writing for it because I get to research/watch so much of it in my own free time and write articles about extreme sports (as well as any personal blog posts) as I want. But it hasn't bee the same since I started. As of late, I've had a couple of my articles put on backdraft that haven't been posted. And when my supervisor remembers to do it, she'll suddenly push them out in sequences but won't promote them to FB or Twitter. However, because she is the owner of the site and it's added accounts, those articles will be posted without a second thought. And now she's started a new site/campaign (about teaching girls not to post/send illicit pics of themselves which I love the idea of) I'm afraid she's gonna end up focusing all of her attention on that as opposed to s4, making all of my stuff pushed back even further. I've tried emailing her to ask about it, but don't get much response. So I'm thinking of finishing out this last month (to have 7 months of working on it) and then leaving amicably if things don't get better soon. Back to another bright note, it's almost the weekend and I couldn't be happier! :) It's only the fourth week of classes and Wednesdays are already killing me. Not only do I have a lot of homework for both of my classes (which admittedly isn't that bad) but the fact that they're both two and a half hours and are back to back with only a ten minute break in each of them is killing me. By the time I'm done with my first class (which ends at 7) I'm exhausted and can barely register what is being said, but then by the second class (which ends at about 10) I have to turn my brain on again for a whole new set of information.
And then a half hour into that class I'm so tired I'm nearly falling asleep. Don't get me wrong, I participate as much as I can, and am already doing better than last semester in the means of participation, but I don't know how much more of this I can take. Having one class a day, really, is a better idea, though this does now give me more time during the week to get homework done early and do things I enjoy in my spare time. Like go to the gym. However, as I go to the gym in the morning, I thought working out early was supposed to give you more energy, not burn me out by mid-afternoon. Don't get me wrong, I feel great after a month of working out as soon as I wake up, but something on Wednesdays have to change. It's been basically a month since I've posted a blog, but that's because I really felt that there was nothing for me to talk about. Christmas was awesome because Phillip was home and it was nice to be able to hang out and laugh with him again, and then a couple of days after Christmas he, Mere, Mom, Dad, and I went up to Delaware to see Justin and watch his team play a basketball game. (Which they won, woohoo! And it was a lot of fun because I hadn't been to a live sporting event in a while and I just love the atmosphere of them). And of course New Year's was great because I did nothing but eat all day, who doesn't like New Year's for that? Haha.
One of my resolutions was to work out more, not only would it get me in shape, but then I'd be able to run the 4th of July five miler in a faster time (Fingers crossed) and I'm hoping to be able to start running half marathons again. The first and only one I've done so far was in my senior year of high school (though I wish I did them before so that I could've greatly improved for cross country) and after that, while in undergrad the semester didn't end in enough time for me to go back home to do it. So, I'm hoping this year because I get out a lot earlier that I'll be able to run it. Otherwise, I'm working out more just because it makes me feel good, I have more energy during the day and not only that but I've been sleeping a lot better because by the time I go to bed, I'm exhausted. Mere and I usually go to the gym in the mornings right after we wake up so that we don't have an excuse not to go. So far it's been working and I hope it continues to do so. Our second semester started this week and I have two classes on Wednesday and one on Thursday. So far I really like what we're going to be doing in our classes. And if I can find a way to incorporate extreme sports, skateboarding, and surfing into my work for the class/my papers I'll be good to go and probably won't freak out as much when I realize how long the papers have to be. (I have another one that's to be 20 pages, but thankfully I'm turning it in in installments so that it won't be that difficult to do). For my class tonight one of my pieces of homework was to watch a video called 'Purple Cow and Otaku' by Seth Godin. I don't know why I haven't heard of it before because it is something that's really inspiring. The gist of it is that if you want to market something, if you want to create something it can't just be 'good' or 'very good' it has to be a 'purple cow'. A 'purple cow' is something remarkable that has a lot of people talking about your product and wondering what you have to say about it. When it comes to my writing, that's want to achieve; to write something that's remarkable and a lot of people talk about. However, that means actually taking the time to write about it. I'm one of those people that as much as I love to write, I love the finished product more than I like actually working through it. Especially when I run through massive amounts of writer's block. Haha. Anyway, I have my last class for the week tonight and after that I'm soooo looking forward to being able to relax and sleep in. And to all of those back home that have snow days (I'm looking at you, Mom) please enjoy it for me. It rarely snows down here and I don't think I'll ever get a day off for winter weather. :) Whew, it's been a while since I've written a blog. But I didn't want to bore you with anything? I mean, who cares to know that my semester ended and I'm getting ready for the next one?
I'm actually pretty excited for that, the classes portion anyway. I'm taking a level 500 intro to communications class that should merge with everything I've learned from 601, 602, and 603 but give me all of the background information I hadn't known before or was confused about. So it should be very helpful with the 604 and 605 classes I shall be taking as well. And so far I'm talking about taking a class during the summer, I'm not sure as of yet because it would tie-in with doing a thesis and I haven't decided if it will be a thesis or a project yet. All I know is skateboarding and/or surfing will be involved and that's good enough for me. Otherwise I'm looking to see what sort of jobs I can get over the summer. I'm hoping to work at the Vans store this summer because it would be a good stepping stone to eventually end up working for the company out in CA (that's one of my dreams anyway, I haven't given up on being a NY Times Best Selling Author). Otherwise I have also extended an option to volunteer with the ECSC (East Coast Surfing Championships) during August down in Virginia Beach and I'm waiting to hear back from that. Nothing on the internship front yet, though I'm asking my adviser every now and then potential contacts that he has or ideas of places to intern with (though S4 technically would be that because I write for them and don't get paid, but it's fun and blogging about extreme sports is something I can never get tired of). Other than that it's almost Christmas time, which everybody should know considering the fact that we've all been celebrating it since before Thanksgiving. Let's be honest here. I'm going back home for said break, however Justin won't be there this year but I do have something that I'd like to send him as a gift that I think he'll appreciate if not get a good laugh out of. I usually have more to talk about when my sisters and I are all together so don't be surprised if I have a few anecdotes here and there to tell. Ask me about the time Mere and I thought we witnessed someone stealing a car. Later. I know it's been a while since I did a blog post (probably about since mid-November) but I have been busy.
Busy, busy, busy, me. Not only had my last few weeks been filled with getting papers done, finishing projects, and presentations. Not including the work that I had been doing for my assistantship has ended for the semester. Other than that I can say that I've finished my first semester. I actually finished on Thursday but I've had so much stuff to do that I haven't had time to even say it out loud really, other than a loud "I'm free!" yesterday morning when I woke up. Not saying that I didn't enjoy my semester, I actually liked it a lot, some classes I enjoyed more than others. One of my classes I always looked forward to because not only did we have actual discussions (rather than arguments) but we also laughed a lot and that mad it a very entertaining and warm class vibe that I really enjoyed being a part of. But I had also really enjoyed being able to sit in and help with COMM 100 and COMM 300 classes, getting to meet some of those students, talk to them, help them out a bit was really fun and after a while they started asking me questions to help make things clearer as well as really wanted to present some of their projects to me when the learning community had their poster presenatation days. Seeing all of the topics they had come up with in means of positive communication and relationships (be it Long-Distance, heavily filled with social media, etc.) and articulated through their presentations was great. However, I am a bit ticked with my assistantship because I was told at the beginning of the year I would be a research assistant that would help with three specific professors, the learning community, and doing research on positive communication and ESM in the means of researching articles about it, collecting data, and helping out with the creation/beta test of a research app. Now I've been told that I'm switching my job with another student that's doing an entirely differently different job for the next semester. It's very upsetting because I had, really, been blindsided by it, especially considering one of the professors I was working with was just telling me that he'd get my feedback on a paper that I had written for my research work as well as figure what would move along with it and what would be done in the next semester before finding out I'd be switched. I feel that all of the work that I had done for the project as well as being what could be done next semester has all been for nothing when I had been nothing but excited to know what the next semester would hold for that portion of my job. Now my excitement is completely gone and I'm just...upset. I had voiced these concerns to my supervisor, and simply got a quick response of "thanks for the note, but the changes are necessary". No room for discussion and that just made me feel worse, really. At this point I'm not excited to be going back next semester for my assitantship when before I was always happy to go. But I am excited for my next semester of classes because time is flying by, soon I'll know if I'm doing a thesis or a project at the end, and before any of us realize it, I'll be graduating. And there's no room for discussion on that one. :) I know it's only the second day into NaNoWriMo, but I have a few tips that I want to share with those that will be participating that I believe will help you get through the month.
Starting Out Before you begin to write, limit distractions by turning off the internet, television and phone. I always have music playing because that helps me when I need some inspiration, but I sometimes watch YouTube videos while I write as well. Not only does it help me with stream of conscious (and that can have some good scenes come out) but when I need a break, I just shift my eyes and watch a video. Besides, I'm a multi-tasker, so it doesn't really bother me. Create a Writing Ritual Creating a writing ritual is important, decide how long you are going to write for and keep to it and write. Keep to this routine, your writing habit every day and it will become habitual. Make sure you a have a set time of day that's perfect for you to write. Not only will it help you get into the habit, but then you have no excuse not to write when you have the time set aside for it. Forget About It When you're done with your novel forget about it. But for only a few months. It'll give you time away from it so when you go back to edit you can look at it with fresh eyes. And you may flinch because the first drafts are usually pretty bad. So after a few monthsn you can start editing and rewriting. Celebrate After you reach your target NaNoWriMo goal and get to your 50,000 words (or even 20,000 if that was a goal) you’re a winner. So go celebrate. But don't stop writing if the novel isn't done. You have your habit, stick to it until you think you're finished. But you deserve some time for celebration either way. You know what they say, it's never too early to plan for the future.
My plan is only a year in advanced. I plan on graduating in May 2016 with my Master's Degree. But what about after that? Raise of hands: Did anyone ever think that I would go on to work for ESPN? *checks count of hands*. Yeah, I didn't think so either, but it's now something that I'm looking into . Anyone that knows me know I love the XGames, skateboarding, and surfing. For the three days it goes on (for summer and winter) I'm glued to my TV and computer for live coverage over the competitions in extreme sports. It's always been something I love to follow and keep up with as the years go on. (Ask me how many months in advance I mark on my calendar when the next series of XGames is). The one thing is, though, never seriously thought I could make it into a career. Don't get me wrong, its a dream job, along with being a NY Times Best Selling Author and a TV/Film actress. (They're all going to happen, I'm sure of it). But I never thought about working for ESPN, in particular, the portion of the company that works on the broadcasting of the XGames. It wasn't until I had a meeting with my adviser about the rest of my time here in grad school that I thought about it. Working for the Vans company is something I want to do, but knowing that ESPN is an option, I'm thinking about it. Up until now I didn't even think I could base all of my grad work around it, but two of my three classes I'm writing papers on extreme sports communication in the lifespan, as well as the normalization in surfing. Then I'm thinking of doing a final thesis (if not a project) about extreme sports as well--more likely than not focusing on skateboarding or surfing as they're big things around here. As my Mom has said, I have a lot of reading, papers, and months before it gets to spring 2016 and graduation, but it's almost spring of 2015, so it's really not that long to go. I'm excited to see what will happen. It’s been a while since I’ve done a blog post but I’ve been really busy. Plus, there’s wasn’t anything particularly interesting to talk about. It’s school, you know? I wake up, eat breakfast, do leftover homework, pack up my backpack, workout, have lunch, go on campus, have a snack, go to class, go back to the apartment, eat dinner, watch TV, do some homework, go to sleep. Day in and day out. But this past weekend was Fall Break and boy did I need it! I mean the week goes by really slowly when you have three two and a half hour classes throughout the week and mix work in around that. It’s sort of frustrating, especially considering how much I have to do as a research assistant as well as working on S4. Plus there’s the fact that some of my teachers have openly admitted they forget that I’m a first semester grad student when everyone else around me (minus two other students) have been in grad school for a while. So, hopefully some things will get a bit easier. This week will be easy for sure. I only have class today. Whoop! Whoop! Monday and Tuesday were off for break, I have class today, and my class tomorrow was cancelled because my professor is going to be out of town. Thank God! I needed some time for things to be easy. Now I have another long weekend to look forward to, I just hope that today’s class doesn’t drag on because of the fact that it’s my only class for the week. Anyway, back to Fall Break. We got back home early Friday and my sisters and I went to have lunch with Mrs. O to catch up a bit. (Hope the day’s treating you well, Mrs. O!!). Then we went to the mall and stopped at a few stores, getting some new clothes. The best shirt I bought is a jersey style shirt with ‘U annoy me’ written on it, similar to the ‘U’ that represents universities. I can see myself wearing it a lot. Oh, and a tip, plaid is back in, you’re going to see it at basically every store. Then later that night I went to the gym. Saturday was a really relaxing day, not much happened then. Sunday was the same. And Monday we (minus Steph and Mom) went up to our grandparents’ house to catch up with them. It was a surprise because they didn’t expect us to go see them. And it was fun to be able to catch up and chat about school and everything. We wouldn’t have had been able to stay long if Mere and I didn't chance our plans to go back to school on Tuesday. Yesterday I had to get back on campus by ten thirty so I could decide on what one of my paper topics was going to be. I have three papers that I have due by the end of this semester. I have a 20 page paper for my first class (not including my final exam), a 18-25 page paper for my second class, and a 20 page paper for my third class, and this isn’t including the paper I have due for my research assistantship due right before Thanksgiving. I swear at some point I’m going to rip my hair out while writing them, and that’s only because I need to try and find something to ramble about for 20 pages as the topics are so vague and I can only do so much. (Not to self, remember to find really big, block quotes). Other than that, nothing’s going on. Not anything that particularly exciting anyway. But if anything does, I’ll let you know as soon as it happens. You’d probably see fireworks and confetti canons going off as well. For those that don't know, National Novel Writing month is celebrated in November. The idea is that you take the whole month of November and write a novel. It doesn't matter if you finish the celebration is that you got started on a project you enjoy.
And that's how Two Pair was born in 2010. I wrote it in two weeks then spent the next two (technically three if you count that year) years editing it to be sure it was good for publication. And you know the rest of that story. Since then I haven't participated in NaNoWriMo though I would've liked to. The only reasons I hadn't was because I had no ideas. But now that I'm sitting in this corner chair that has exclusively become mine (ask anyone that walks by this corner M/T/W/TH at about three o'clock and they'd agree with you--*hangs up reserved sign*) I've been thinking about the things I could do and have narrowed it down to two ideas: 1. Flynn. <---That's a tentative title, but it was the idea I turned in and co-won for the Hollins Fiction Prize senior year at Hollins. 2. Ride or Die. That title I really like. This one would be a book about a girl that participates in BMX and how she had to deal with being a girl in a male dominated sport as well as dealing with a family that thinks it's too dangerous for her to participate in. Which is a tentative plot, but the general idea is the same. (3. Maybe that novella on Reagan between the Quadruple or Nothing series and what could potentially come after). Now, I' not saying I'll be able to finish one of these in November, especially since two of my really long papers are due that month, but I'd like to get a good chunk of it out of the way. I'm crossing my fingers that I'll be able to do it, no matter which one it is that I work on. I'm great at time management as anyone can say, but 20 page papers can really kick my butt, especially when I think I've said all I need to say in 10. |
About Me
Loves anything red. Rock music, playing the guitar, drawing, writing, tattoos, and sports are some of my interests and hobbies. I like to laugh, I like to think I'm funny. I talk a lot...just a warning. Archives
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