I feel like I've hit a brick wall.
Not physically, though I'm glad I'm finally able to go to the gym without hurting for days afterwards. And when I do it's because I'm pushing myself very hard. (Gotta get in shape for that five miler, maybe even another half marathon).
I mean in a figurative sense. As this semester is almost over (really, it kind of is, Spring Break is the second week of march and the semester ends in April. Hard to get used to after years of having 'J-Term') I look around and notice that all of my classmates are passionate about and really invested in the program I'm in and I'm...not. They've taken numerous communications classes and know exactly what they want to do while I'm sitting at the side saying 'I love extreme sports'...and have no clues how to really tie that into what we're learning other than grasping at straws to study something I enjoy throughout class.
Sure, I've sort of had this complaint before but it's different, now, to the point that the program isn't what I thought it'd be. Sure, it's new, only four years old, I get that. But I thought there'd be an equal chance to study digital communication as well as the lifespan...and I was wrong. It's mostly classes about communication theory, lifespan theory, and a sprinkling of digital communication here and there and that's what I'm interested in. Social Media, Digital Marketing, Digital Publicity, things like that, and there aren't any classes that are particularly catered to it. Only a few.
And in the terms of what to do to finish my degree; a thesis or a project, I can see the plus side of doing either one. I'd be great at doing either one. But, honestly, I'd rather do a comprehensive exam to prove I know what I'm talking about. And it'd now just hit me that...I don't know how to get into the extreme sports industry with my degree or with my passion alone. Yes, I do some articles for S4, and have been followed like crazy by skateboard and surfing related companies on twitter, but that still doesn't do anything other than show that I'm completely unprepared.
And although I was very aware it was a tough industry to break in, in general, it didn't really click with me until I thought about what I'm studying. Every class when I explain what I'm interested in studying (via extreme sports; mostly surfing and skateboarding) I get blank stares, polite smiles, some conversation. But I have no one I can really talk to about it, especially since it doesn't really have to do with communication at all, while the other topics being brought up certainly are.
There's a professor in my program that has the topic of sports, mass media, and journalism as his interests and I'll try talking to him to see if he can give any advice. But at the moment I'm really regretting not getting a MA in Creative Writing because at least when I finished that it'd get me closer to having a book picked up by a publication house.
Another week of school almost over and I've really fallen into my routine to keep myself positive as well as to have my work done early so I have more time to myself. However, more time to myself doesn't really equate to the work on the novels I've thought of, but that's a whole other thing entirely.
Now that I've gotten further in my classes I'm really excited with the prospects of what I'm studying. For two of my classes I'm researching different aspects of skater culture. For one, I'm researching it in general in terms of communication theories while in the other I'm researching the correlation to feeling like an outcast/like you don't belong in some aspect of your life and skater culture. It's really cool to research, especially in the means that a lot more people have written about it for their thesis and dissertations than I originally thought.
Now I have more sources to go off of in the means of my own research. So that's the good part.
The bad part is that I'm contemplating leaving my writer/contributor job with S4 magazine. I love writing for it because I get to research/watch so much of it in my own free time and write articles about extreme sports (as well as any personal blog posts) as I want. But it hasn't bee the same since I started. As of late, I've had a couple of my articles put on backdraft that haven't been posted. And when my supervisor remembers to do it, she'll suddenly push them out in sequences but won't promote them to FB or Twitter. However, because she is the owner of the site and it's added accounts, those articles will be posted without a second thought.
And now she's started a new site/campaign (about teaching girls not to post/send illicit pics of themselves which I love the idea of) I'm afraid she's gonna end up focusing all of her attention on that as opposed to s4, making all of my stuff pushed back even further. I've tried emailing her to ask about it, but don't get much response.
So I'm thinking of finishing out this last month (to have 7 months of working on it) and then leaving amicably if things don't get better soon.
Back to another bright note, it's almost the weekend and I couldn't be happier! :)
Loves anything red. Rock music, playing the guitar, drawing, writing, tattoos, and sports are some of my interests and hobbies. I like to laugh, I like to think I'm funny. I talk a lot...just a warning.